Oh! Christmas tree!

oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree
I really loathe your branches
oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
I really loathe your branches

You have blank spots without greenery
your base is cheap and lean-er-eee

Oh, Christmas tree, Oh, Christmas tree
why must you be such a hassle?

Oh, Christmas tree, Oh, Christmas tree
your lights are all uneven
Oh, Christmas tree, Oh, Christmas tree
you make suicide sound like heaven

I can not rhyme, you've ruined me
I hate your guts, oh, Christmas tree!

Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree
you are a stupid tradition!















Putting up the tree is always a hassle. This year more than usual. (sentence fragment! don't care!)

I have to tell you first I dread putting the thing up, because my cheapo, really old artificial tree is...ugly, like uber ugly. On top of that, I just don't have many ornaments, each spring the garage floods and invariably no matter where I put the damn things, they get ruined. Last year I wised up a bit and put them in a Rubbermaid tub so they were safe this year.....but last year since it was a rebuilding year (aren't they all) I could only afford a big box of ornaments, which are all appropriately burgundy, which I love, and also matches the Angel I have had for a while that goes on top who is also burgundy. I am anti-tinsel because it bothers me....(good reason no?) so I have an iridescent beaded garland. Anyway, the tree is sparse, in both foliage and decoration. (save for 300 multi-colored lights).

So, Monday the adventure began.

Monday, clean a spot for the tree, involves moving mega furniture.
Tuesday, retrieve the tree and decorations from the garage (like hunting for the holy grail it is!)
Wednesday, assemble the tree, let it air out.
Thursday, fluff the tree.
Friday, put on the lights......all 300 of them, then take them off and re-do it, then take them off again and re-do it.
Saturday, add the bulbs and angel, get bitched at about the tree being too "matchy-matchy" and make new ornaments in multi-colors/styles
Sunday- add new ornaments and garland, light up tree, be disappointed in it's appearance.... give up.

yeah, wonderful!